By this time last year, I had already returned home from school for the National Day holiday. After the holiday, it was time for the final sprint for the postgraduate entrance examination. This year, I finally made it to SHU, but due to the epidemic prevention policies, I won't be going back home. Time flies.
Last night, I dreamt about taking the postgraduate entrance examination again and being scolded by the teacher. I didn't pass and I'm preparing for the second attempt. When I woke up, I realized that I'm still studying, and I was drenched in sweat.
What I've been listening to recently
"Irregular Days in the Hutong Convenience Store." Although it's about the hutongs in Beijing, it still resonates with me as someone from a small county town. I listened to several episodes in a row and it brought back memories of when I used to hold coins and buy snacks at the convenience store as a child. Back then, if someone had five or ten yuan as pocket money every day, they were considered rich. Now, people are never satisfied.
"Incessant Chatter" - I listened to VOL39 this week, which talked about what to do when you're unhappy. Yesterday, while walking in the rain, I heard Fei Jie talk about how he has changed himself now, "Look more at what others have at the bottom, rather than simply what material possessions they have." It reminded me of my recent emotions.
In March, I thought as long as I could get admitted, it would be fine. But now, at this time, I keep complaining that although I got admitted, I envy others who have scholarships. I feel regretful. During a meeting, when everyone introduced themselves and mentioned their alma mater, I felt embarrassed to speak up about mine. This week, the teacher notified everyone in the group about a meeting, except for me and another classmate. I started thinking that maybe the teacher thinks students from our university have better qualities, and I'm really not as good as others. When I was reading at night, I felt a bit down. When it comes to actually doing something, I might start complaining again about not being as good as doing my own thing.
Let me recommend some podcasts that I've been listening to: "Comedian Chat," "Passerby Catching Horses," "Ami Goodnight"... I really like putting on my headphones before going to bed and listening for a while. It might be more interesting than mindlessly scrolling through short videos. Watching too many short videos makes me numb. (Also, remember to take off your headphones. Wearing headphones for a long time is unhealthy.)
Shopping
After buying some equipment during the summer vacation, I've been looking at keyboards and monitors recently. I sent the previous monitor to my workstation, but I feel uncomfortable looking at a small screen in the dormitory. I still want to have a monitor in the dormitory for convenience in the morning and at night. Since I didn't receive a scholarship, it's impossible to buy a desktop computer.
I bought an 81-key mechanical keyboard with red switches, and I'm quite satisfied with it. It doesn't make too much noise, but it's a bit exaggerated to bring it to the lab. Compared to the membrane keyboard, the sound is much louder. I also bought a 27-inch 2K monitor. After using a monitor, I feel that the size of a laptop screen is pitifully small.
Having a monitor makes it more convenient to read documents, and of course, it enhances the gaming experience. In short, having more stationery is better.
Ramblings
I don't have friends or relatives in SHU, and considering the large number of people outside during the National Day holiday, several regions have been notified today that they have become medium-risk areas. I'll just stay in school, read books, and when I feel like resting, I'll go back to my dormitory and lie down. It's not bad.
Recently, it's the peak season for job hunting, and people around me are complaining about the cold winter of the Internet, worrying about the future two years later... Actually, it's quite strange now. Sometimes hot topics are suppressed, but they are also the traffic of major platforms. Sometimes they are aggressively pushed. After you search for a certain keyword, all the subsequent recommendations are related to it.
My roommate complains that computer science is like a new century pitfall, just like biochemistry and materials science. I remain silent and believe that actions speak louder than words. It's better to do more than to say more. When a field becomes saturated, the threshold becomes higher.
I still choose to be optimistic and believe that studying hard will bring rewards (at least for now).
Yesterday, while studying computer networks, the book mentioned why solid-state drives labeled as 1TB are actually less than 1TB. It's because manufacturers use different units than computers do. It answered my previous doubts and gave me a sense of satisfaction, the joy of learning. But many times, what we learn is far removed from reality, and there are many reasons for this phenomenon, but let's not discuss it.
Let's live optimistically and focus more on ourselves. If we can't reconcile with society, let's reconcile with ourselves.