Looking back with more determination and holding expectations for the future.
I'll Give Myself a Label First#
Learning in the New Stage#
In 2021, the biggest wish should be to find a job. Today is January 1, 2023, and it has only been a few days since the postgraduate entrance examination in 2023. Here, I omit a long exhale. I have friends who are familiar with World War II, cyber friends, and friends who are in their fifth year of clinical medicine and just took the postgraduate entrance examination this year. It's really hard.
I feel like I've lost a lot of spirit after a year of postgraduate study. But this is ultimately because I didn't study well in my undergraduate years and didn't understand the contradictions at the beginning of 2021. Why do I want to pursue postgraduate studies? How should I pursue postgraduate studies? I still don't have the answers now, and I feel even more confused and lost.
But when I was watching the conversation between Ami and Lai Shengchuan, Director Lai Shengchuan said:
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I think the most important thing in life is to contemplate life.
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Gradually, I transitioned from anxiety in September and October to accepting this state, changing my mindset, and trying to find the answers I wanted in other things, doing well in things I like, and categorizing other things as things I don't like and trying to do them first before evaluating them.
From June, when I graduated and started using Hexo and Hugo, I stayed up late to tinker with them. Looking back now, it may seem like a small mistake, but it took a long time to tinker with them at the time. But I was really happy, searching for tutorials everywhere, and referring to other people's blog source code. In October, I remember looking at computer networks every day, understanding the knowledge points that I didn't fully grasp during my undergraduate years, and exclaiming in my heart, "So this is how computer networks work!" Then in December, I started learning operating systems and realized the charm of "black books"...
I hope I can continue to pursue my interest in programming, but I still need to remember to graduate successfully and do the things that a boss should do, being able to handle things but not avoid them (dddd).
Some Feelings#
Saying Bye to Yangzhou#
Complaining and grumbling, I still left Yangzhou. But it's impossible to leave without any memories.
I really liked the several dormitory aunties who smiled every day. When I was leaving, I told them, "I got into graduate school, so I can continue studying." The aunties were very happy. They hope that the children who leave this ordinary, or even not-so-good, school can all work and live well.
During the four years of classes, each classroom had its own multimedia key and microphone, with dedicated management personnel. There were sisters who chose free time for their families, and grandpas who loved practicing calligraphy, and they all lived a repetitive and simple but loving life.
During the four years of classes, I also met several life mentors, such as Teacher Yu and Teacher Yan. I am very grateful to them for giving me some opportunities and influencing me to some extent. And in the self-study room on the fifth floor, there were Old Wang, Shuo Peng, and Ni Shen...
The campus is very small, and you can walk around it in a short time. When it was about to leave, badminton courts, swimming pools, new postgraduate study rooms, and improved library facilities were built...
In the past, my daily activities were mainly in the library, classrooms, and canteens. Later, newcomers may have more routes to explore...
Saying Hello to Shanghai#
In September, I came to SHU with expectations. I remember it was raining during registration, and it was the first time I crossed campuses (continuing from the previous text, my undergraduate years were very mediocre and small). I didn't expect that I would need a nucleic acid test to cross campuses (later I learned that I needed to do a nucleic acid test every day), and I wandered around with my roommates holding umbrellas, feeling that the school was very big, and I couldn't finish walking all the roads. I silently compared it with the past in my heart.
Later, I gradually became familiar with the campus. I learned how to navigate through the classrooms A, B, C, and D on campus; I learned which canteen had delicious breakfast and which canteen served noodles, and so on. My initial impression was that the canteens were really expensive and the food was not good, but I gradually became familiar with them. When I was very hungry, I would ride my bike back to the campus to eat at the cafeteria, which cost more than 20 yuan, and I gained five or six pounds... The dishes with chili in the campus canteens were all sweet, very sweet, which really shocked me.
From September to December, I was basically locked down for nearly two months and didn't go out much. When I went out, it was mostly to eat with my roommates. I have a deep impression of the complicated subway system, and I have to pay attention to the direction of the subway when going up and down stairs. Friends in the same group went to many places, and I doubted that I didn't walk too many roads in the past three years.
I hope that in 2023, order can gradually be restored, and I can go out more and explore. When I graduate and leave, or after working for a while and leaving Shanghai, I can have a certain understanding of this city.
With Friends#
I need to express my emotions. I will talk to friends I met while playing the game Yin Yang Shi, and even contacted a friend I met six years ago while playing Hearthstone during the first half of the year. When I was anxious in the second half of the year, I called my doctoral brother who played Hearthstone with me every month and expressed my feelings to friends I used to play Yin Yang Shi with.
Whether it's friends on the Internet or friends in real life, most people have either started working or continued their postgraduate studies. Suddenly, I felt that everyone had entered a new stage, and it was a huge change compared to the days of studying. Everyone has their own pressures from work, studies, family, and so on...
The economic environment is not good, and work may not necessarily go smoothly. The pandemic has also had a big impact on life.
I used to talk casually with friends, but now I dare not talk to them casually or express my emotions easily. They probably have their own suppressed emotions.
At the new school, the biggest group of friends I made were the senior brothers and sisters in the same group. Each person has their own characteristics, and indeed, we are a very ordinary group. Each person has basically recognized reality, but after spending some time together, I can still feel each person's uniqueness. They have been my spiritual support for the past few months.
...
People still need social interaction and contact with others.
I hope that friends who are working in 2023 can go smoothly, and friends who are pursuing postgraduate studies can continue to improve themselves. I hope that society and personal life can gradually return to normal.
Summary and Expectations#
When I stopped to think about 2021 while writing this, I only remembered two things: heartbreak and the postgraduate entrance examination. But looking at 2022, it seems that they are no longer significant events.
In 2022, I am grateful for the time I spent and the rewards I received. I dared to make friends, wrote blogs and had conversations with myself seriously, and came to a new environment for living and studying after graduation... Actually, when I stop and look back, I am quite content.
I hope that in 2023, I can continue to persist in learning coding, remember the joy of learning, stick to my career planning, and broaden my horizons a little bit more. Read more books, do more exercise, and meet more people.
Love life, live life diligently, peace!